Knowing the Papa: Will you let Him?

My father left our home when I was 5.  I can still vision his bags sitting at the front door before he left.  After he left and my parents divorced, me and my sister had to go spend every other weekend with him.  I didn’t have a nurturing relationship with him.  He didn't really know what to do with us.  His way of showing love to us was to buy us things and take us places.  Which at that time, was fine with me!  But looking back now, I realize how much was missing – a relationship.  Every time I had to go to his place, I cried because I didn’t want to leave my momma.  She was my constant, my stability, my security.  I didn’t have that with my dad.  He was impatient & would yell at me for little things (i.e. spilling my milk, tripping, etc.)  I can still hear in my mind the words “Oh Kelly!” ring out when I spill something.  He just didn’t know how to be a “Daddy”.  I so wish that someone would have instilled in me that I had a Daddy in Heaven that loved me unconditionally no matter my faults or mistakes.  I grew up a Christian and in a Christian home, but some of the things that I have learned later in life, I wish I had been taught then.  Because of the absence of my daddy at home, I was very flirtatious with boys and was truly what you would call “Boy-crazy”.  I relied on what boys thought of me and sought my purpose in that.  I had to have a boyfriend at all times, even if it was a different boy every week.  Looking back I know that was because of a lack of a father figure in my home and the true love of a father.  I wish I had been taught that I was the Precious Daughter of the Most High God and that I didn’t need confirmation from those boys, but that my daddy in Heaven was all I truly needed.  Well, unfortunately, things only got worse for me.  My mom died tragically in a car accident when I was 15 and I was forced to move in with my dad and his wife.  To me that was Hell on earth!  I didn’t want to go to his house when my mom was alive, why would I want to go live there?!  But the choice was not mine to make.  So even with my father in my life on a full time basis, it didn’t change what had started in my heart – boy craziness.  Thankfully, I now know that I have a Daddy who loves me unconditionally, who doesn’t just give me everything I want, but provides everything I need, and gives me a purpose for my life.   I have a lot of regrets because of that boy craziness but I am so thankful that I have a Daddy who forgives and casts my sins into the deep, expansive ocean where it can never be found again!   When the devil tries to remind me of those regrets and bring them back to the forefront of my mind, I recite 2 Corinthians 10:5b “take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ Jesus.”   “Therefore, there is now no condemnation of those who are in Christ Jesus” Romans 8:1  Praise God!  No earthly father can provide that security of heart and mind!  I’m so glad that He’s My Daddy!

Hebrews 4:16 - verse mapping

Here is my verse mapping of Hebrews 4:16.

This study has met me right where I needed it right now.  Especially this week in Chapter 3 talking about Praying So That!  I am learning more about prayer and how to pray.  What has been important to me is that I have been convicted to pray for someone who has hurt me.  I am wearing a bracelet on my arm where my watch usually is to remind me.  so, every time I look on my wrist to see what time it is, instead I'm reminded to pray for my "ONE".  There have been times that it has been difficult to pray for that person because the hurt is still fresh, but I've been amazed at the power of prayer and how it releases me from the anger, bitterness and even the hurt.  Instead of focusing on myself, I'm focusing on praying over her and whatever is causing the hurt for her.  It has also kept me in a state of prayer, praying ceaselessly throughout the day.  I know that God has me exactly where he wants me & I want to bask in His presence! I can only do that through spending time with Him more & being in constant communication with Him.

Photo hop

Verse mapping 2 Corinthians 12:9

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'"
 2 Corinthians 12:9

What a wonderful truth, that when we are weak, He is our strength!  And He not only IS our strength, He WANTS to be our strength!  I don't know about you, but I don't have anyone else in my life that would be willing to carry my burdens or be strong for me!  Thank you Jesus!

My weakness that has become evident through the Made To Crave study, is making excuses for not exercising.  I love to exercise, but when it's on my time and convenient for me.  5:30 in the morning is not on my time nor is it convenient because it is when I want to be asleep!  However, through this study, I have been more diligent in getting up at 5:30 AM to either run with my running partner or do T25 in my living room along with my daily planks (thanks to the plank challenge).  I have set my alarm and have not allowed myself to hit the snooze button.  At night when I go to bed, I ask God to get me up and not allow me to lay in bed making my excuses.  However, I have to admit, I didn't do so good today and didn't get up as I had planned... so I had a relapse today.  I know I had an excuse... which would be kindly OVERRULED by Melissa & Nicki!  This verse reminds me that even when I don't feel like it, or have the excuse that I'm too tired, God is my strength and I need to draw on His strength because I can't do it on my own!  It's a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day drawing on His strength!

Happy Valentine's Day!  This is the day of LOVE, so spread the love of Jesus - the BEST kind of love!

Isaiah 45:3 - Verse Chaining

I really enjoy verse chaining!  I love searching through the Bible, with the help of You Version https://www.bible.com/, for verses that extend the meaning of different words in the scripture for the week.  I hope you can read it!

1 Peter 5:7-8a

I wanted to share from my devotion this morning, which was so appropriate with our verse of the week.  It's written by Dudley C. Rutherford:

"'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.'  Matthew 11:28-30.

'Did you know that all the water in the world can't sink a ship unless the water gets inside?  And did you know the sum total of problems in the world can't sink a Christian unless the problems get inside?  We need to learn to put all our cares, trials and problems at the feet of Jesus.  

Toward the end of his life, the great Apostle Peter had superior advice when he wrote, "Cast all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you" (I Peter 5:7).  Some of us are like the man carrying a big hundred-pound sack of potatoes down a dirt road.  A man driving a pickup truck stops and says, "Throw your potatoes in the back and jump in.  I'll give you a lift."  But the man gets inside the truck and keeps the heavy potatoes on his shoulders.  The driver says, "Mister, lay the potatoes down; the truck can carry that load for you."  The man replies, "Look, mister, you are mighty kind.  It's asking enough for you to carry me, let alone my potatoes."

I (Dudley) am like that sometimes.  Jesus says, "Cast all your anxieties on Me," and I (Dudley) say, "Wait just a minute, Lord; it's asking enough that you saved me and forgave me and wrote my name in Heaven.  I'm not about to ask You to carry my problems also."

Prayer: My dear broad-shouldered, divine Savior, I want to promise, from this day forward, to lay all of my burdens and worries on You.  A million times over, You are bigger and stronger and wiser than I am.  I'm sorry I've been so long in learning this lesson.  I plead guilty of worrying when I should be relying on You.  May I never forget that Your eye is on the sparrow, and I know You're watching me.  I pray in Christ's name.  Amen."                                                          -Dudley C. Rutherford

I felt this devotion very appropriate because it sums me up so well!  I have such a hard time giving my worries over to God and leaving them with Him.  I will present them to Him, but most times I take them back - like a sack of potatoes! 

In our key verse, one of the key words is ALL!  God doesn't ask for us to give some of our worries, or a portion of our worries, He asks us to give them ALL!  I must remember that and practice that daily and then leave it at His feet - for good!

"Thank you Lord for your goodness, your faithfulness and your unconditional love!  No matter what I've done in the past or the present, you love me the same.  I am thankful that I have a Christ that cares so much about me that He wants my problems cast upon Him!  They are too much for me to carry!  Help me to give them over to You and leave them there!  In Christs Name I pray - Amen."
-Kelly

A Raging Battle

Made to Crave has forced me to re-evaluate what is really important in my daily life.  There are many things in my life that I crave more than God.  I really wish that I craved God as much as those things!  That is my prayer through this study that I will have a renewed passion to know the one who calls me "daughter" and crave time with Him.  One of the things that I crave is alcohol - beer & wine.  It's not something that I depend on - I don't need it to get through my day or to sleep or anything of that nature.  And it is something that I rarely drink too much of as I have done in the past. But, it's a thing (I guess you could say an idol) that I really enjoy and if I'm not careful, will have often (i.e., every night).  I like the taste and I like how it relaxes me on a tough day where my patience was at its wits end.  My goal through this study is to put it down! Each time I crave for a drink, to pray that God will fill that desire with a craving for Him & His promises!  

For many years, my earnest craving was to get pregnant and have a baby.  The desire consumed my every thought and every being.  It determined who I would friend, and who I wouldn't.  If you were pregnant, I didn't spend time with you.  I always felt safe befriending older married women because I knew the chances of them becoming pregnant were slim.  I went through a long period where I was angry with God because he wasn't allowing me to have this thing that I craved with all my heart!  It wasn't like I was craving something that was bad for me!  He called me to be fruitful and have babies!  As a woman, isn't that what my calling was supposed to be?!  I just couldn't grasp his plan for the future.  Fast forward 12 years later... He has given me 2 beautiful adopted children, ages 7 and 4.  I praise Him for them because had He given me my "own biological children", I would not have them.  And I can't even imagine my life without them!  God is faithful and his promises are true!  and His timing is perfect!  

"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

#CraveGod